Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
