He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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