Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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