My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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