i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
