capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
