i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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