What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
