Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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