You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
