Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
