Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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