then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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