I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
