Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you didnt know i had herpes?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
