You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
