It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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