Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
