When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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