we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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