i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
