I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
