I feel great
I just peed on a car
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
