But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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