Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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