so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
But we have bathrooms and they dont
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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