Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
