he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
