I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
