So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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