I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
