Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
