Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
