I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
