I heard we made out
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize