I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
