I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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