so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
