Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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