All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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