our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
40s are totally the cure
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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