he wants to bone in the snuggie
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
