Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
