please come you make the beer taste better
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
