yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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