shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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