she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
