Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
