Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
