come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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