just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
